I am no man
by Saluzozette
Summary: It's movie night. Enjolras say something that Grantaire and Courfeyrac simply can't stand. Enjoltaire, Courferre, Marisette, FeuillyxBahorel and Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta


"I'm sorry, what?"

Grantaire looks absolutely horrified, and the fact that Enjolras was previously laughing doesn't help him with the apparent seriousness of the moment.

They are both sitting on Feuilly and Bahorel's couch for movie night. Grantaire is perched on the arm of the sofa, and just two seconds ago comfortably tuck against his boyfriend's side, but now far, far away, like what Enjolras has just said has made him a totally different person. Cosette and Marius are talking quietly on Enjolras other side, just as disgustingly cute as usual. Eponing is on the floor, leaning against Marius leg and playing with Jehan's hair, whose head is on here lap. Bossuet, Musichetta and Joly are comfortably drowning in the big red fluffy cushion they always bring to movie nights, regardless of where it takes place. Feuilly and Bahorel, who are currently fixing the drinks and the snacks in the kitchen, have spread a blanket between the couch and the TV, and have threathened anyone who would try to invest their spot of some various and inventing ways they could kill them. Finally, on Grantaire's other side, just within arm's reach, Combeferre and Courfeyrac are stacked on the armchair they have claimed as their own the minute they set a foot in the appartment.

But back to business. The look on Grantaire's face has now shifted from utter horror to disbelief abd disappointment.

"You're kidding, right?" He asks, somehow desperate.

"Nope, never ever." Enjolras answers, still broadly smiling, just for the sake of infuriating Grantaire.

The dark-haired man can't draw his eyes away from his boyfriend, but his hand still found Courfeyrac's arm. The guy, how never mind making out in front of his friend, doesn't acknowledge Grantaire's persistent pokes without a grunt. He hates being interrupted in the middle of his make out sessions.

"What?" He grumbles eventually, just as Feuilly and Bahorel come back from the kitchen, their arms full of delicious-looking slowly killing junks.

"Courf, he has never seen The Lord of the Ring." Grantaire splutters, his eyes never leaving Enjolras, who is now laughing out loud.

His best friend looks at him with the exact same look of disbelief in the eyes, and it is just way too funny for the blond man to bring himself to feel annoyed by their antics.

"What, you haven't seen it?" Combeferre ironically steps in, and Enjolras knows what is coming next. "Come on, Enj', it's a classic!"

"Yes! That was exactly what I was gonna say:" Courfeyrac exclaimed. "You cannot not have seen this movie. I take it as a personal offense. I really feel betrayed right now."

"You and me both, bro." Grantaire answers.

He is still too far away for Enjorlas to hug him back against him, but despite everything he says, Grantaire hasn't let go of his boyfriend's hand. That's how Enjolras knows that even though he is sincerely shocked by his lack of cinematic culture, he is still mostly messing with him.

"Yeah, you know, The Lord of the Ring." Combeferre adds, too insistent to be believable. "I can't believe you haven't seen it!"

"Have you?" Enjolras challenges him, because he knows his two best friends to well not to be able to predict the next ten seconds of conversation.

"Of course I have!" Combeferre protests with a growing smile on his lips. "It's about this guy, who..."

"Oh my god you haven't!" Courfeyrac roars, jumping away from Combeferre and drawing all the attention on him. "You traitor!"

This time, Grantaire is laughing along Enjloras. He slides back against his side, warming him up effectively.

"Can we start the movie?" Jehan asks while handing the bowl of popcorn to Cosette.

"No we cannot!" Courfeyrac exclaims, glaring at Combeferre who's smiling like the Chesire Cat. "O,k, I won't be betrayed a second time, so let's be honest here for a second." He adds for the everyone in the room. "Who, in this house, hasn't seen The Lord of the Ring?"

Five hands shot up in the air, immediately followed by cries of betrayal. Bossuet gets kicked out of the cushion by his two significant other halves while Eponine pushes Jehan away like he had the plague, and Bahorel rolls away from Feuillt in degust. Combeferre is still majestically spread on the armchair, and Grantaire seems to decide against leaning away from Enjolras again. On the contrary, his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder tighten.

All eyes are now on Marius, who hasn't budged. Courfeyrac looks outraged. Even Cosette leans away a little.

"We don't like liars, man."

"I am no man." Marius gravely professes.

The room explodes with laughter, both from those who understood the quote, and from those who didn't. Cosette is delighted and throw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so proud of you, honey!" She exclaims before looking at everybody else in the room with a malicious smile on her lips. "My boyfriend is better than all of yours."

"Congratulation," Grantaire whispers into Enjolras' ear. "You've been beaten by Pontmercy."

The blond man can't help the chuckle bubbling up in his throat. Bossuet is currently wooing his way back on the cushion with popcorn and coke, while Feuilly has roll after Bahorel until they're both stuck against the wall, and Jehan doesn't seem to care either his being pet by Eponine or not. Courfeyrac and Combeferre are engaged in a terrible and endless stares-battle, that only reach an end because Combeferre is willing to compromise.

"What do you say we watch The Lord of the Ring instead of Blockbusters tonight, guys?" He asks, and really, he knows his boyfriend just as well as Enjolras knows the both of them, because Courfeyrac smile is literally blinding and he found his way back on Combeferre's lap in a matter of second.

"Ok, I forgive you," He jested joyfully. "Feuilly? Do you have The Lord of the Ring on your computer?"

"Do we?" The man asks his own boyfriend who grunts in response.

"Don't insult me, please." Bahorel mumbles. "Of course I have it."

Enjolras settles a little bit more comfortably against Grantaire, who wraps himself around him. Looking around, he can only see happy faces, and that makes him feel whole inside. He's home.


End file.
